Rotary Pancake Supper Sets Attendance Record; Tails Counted Separately

CREOSOTE CROSSING— The Rotary Club of Creosote Crossing flipped 847 pancakes by official spatula count, a figure that does not include the “chef’s tax” consumed in the spirit of quality control. Lines formed at three-forty-five—before the Lions had finished stringing pennants—proving once again that syrup is our region’s unofficial currency.

Past President Badger praised the volunteer griddle corps, especially the teen jackrabbits who ran butter relay without a single skid. Treasurer Mole reported receipts sufficient to replace the Little League backstop and repaint the community bulletin board the color of a confident sunrise.

A brief dispute erupted when two faithful retrievers tried to occupy the same folding chair; the situation was resolved by democracy and an extra sausage link. “We run a civilized operation,” Secretary Mouse told your correspondent, polishing her bifocals. “Civilized, and lightly maple-scented.”

Next year’s goal: one thousand flapjacks and a second coffee urn named after someone’s grandmother. Mark your calendar—the syrup doesn’t pour itself, but around here, neighborly hands always seem to arrive on time.