Welcome Wagon Taps Interim Chair Known for Steady Nerves

FRONTIER LOOP— Ms. Terrance Tarantula will greet newcomers through June, handing out pie plates, library cards, and mimeographed numbers for the plumber who answers after dark.

Retiring chair Mrs. Manatee called Terrance "unflappable—eight legs of hospitality." The Chamber approved unanimously once someone clarified no extra legs would be tax-assessed.

First impressions are municipal business; we intend to excel.